I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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