Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize