You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Fuck appropriateness.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
