she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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