I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
your room smells of hookers.
And success
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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