i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
