just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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