I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
