I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
