its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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