pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
