you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
