the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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