Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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