He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Terrible idea I love it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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