her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
