I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
