i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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