Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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