The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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