Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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