Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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