I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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