omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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