I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Randomize
