For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
