But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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