I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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