someone threw a dead crab at me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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