so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
