like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
