He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm getting married
To pizza
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
