so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
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nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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