just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
