so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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