He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
