I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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