Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
