you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
