wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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