I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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