I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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