Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
