Sober January is a disaster.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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