she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize