When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
