Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize