I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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