he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
