this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
