Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize