I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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