She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize