Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
