OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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