I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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