so that wasnt chicken after all
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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