we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
