I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize