i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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