i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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